You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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