Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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