I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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