Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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