I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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