Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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