okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize