Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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