Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
