is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
MIDGETS
????
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize