One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize