apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize