It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
