I think I am morally bankrupt
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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