Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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