I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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