I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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