so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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