You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
farters have to be the big spoon...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
should my penis look like a turkey
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Randomize
