Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
