I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
