first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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