I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
