need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
two words...techno handjob
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
