We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
