he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
