Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
