somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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