I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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