I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
