hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
