Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
