I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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