The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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