we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
