Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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