If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
