Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it hurts more in the daytime
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
