theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
