WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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