Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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