Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
