addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
did i just pee glitter
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
