Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize