She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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