Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
