Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
