Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
