thus making me awesome and them whores
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
