the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.