I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.