speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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