i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
