i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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