I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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