my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
how does that bad decision feel?
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