wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
