I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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