return my video game
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
