She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
