I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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