Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
