he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
