hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
