if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
