Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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