did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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