ugly people sure do ruin things
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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