she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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