Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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